The scientists and biologists would describe the heart as ‘’a hollow muscle organ that by its rhythmic contraction acts as a force pump maintaining the circulation of blood’’.The psychologists and philosophists would describe it as ‘’ the vital center and source of ones being. The center of total personality especially with reference to intuition and feelings. The capacity for sympathy and compassion’’ And the ordinary man knows that ‘’we need the heart to survive’’
But there are things about this small yet incredibly vital organ that you don’t find in books or on the internet as its complexities are unparalleled.Some say ‘’Life is not a bed of roses’’, things happen and when people see their lives spinning out of control and nothing seems to go right anymore but rather fall apart, they react in different ways.Anger,hatred,spite,guilt,despair,indifference,nonchalance,fear,withdrawal, loss of faith,self-pity,low self-esteem,hurt,disappointment,grief,dejection,suicidal thoughts and attempts,malevolence,jelousy,hopelessness are just a few of the myriad of emotions we all go through when we try to handle a difficult situation.
Been broken involves not just a string of feelings ranging from depression, self-pity and low self-esteem, it involves so much more such as-the things that gives you joy, things you love doing mean nothing at all anymore. Sometimes in life, even the most interesting things start to become incredibly boring. The prospect of friends coming over is horrifying, the last thing you want is company with ‘’a bunch of hyperactive and annoyingly social people who think life is all about rainbows and unicorns’’ as this is how you see it now. The idea of been alone sounds appealing all the time. Wanting to lie in bed all day because you are exhausted even though you either just woke up or lazed around all day and did no sort of physical activity whatsoever that will warrant you feeling fatigued is a different story. It makes no sense when you are strong and fit yet think you are tired and weak, it is not you, it is your HEART and it is emotionally tired. These are a few of the intricacies that transcend beyond what our normal minds perceive the heart to be.
It is unfortunate when one’s crisis is deep and seeds beyond depression and its perils. It is precarious when you apply some lipstick or turn on your ‘’swag’’ and smile to the world and most people think you are sweet, awesome or one of the most amazing persons they’ve ever met but little did they know that, once you are behind closed doors, your whole world comes crashing on you. It is dangerous because no one has an idea of the battle you are fighting and the toll it’s taking on your sanity, only those very few if any at all who know you enough are able to see past the calm and collected façade into your soul; the pit of your misery, pain and despair. Sometimes, not even those who think they know you can see past those beautiful eyes. It is excruciatingly exhausting pretending everything is fine when you are trying desperately to fight a battle you seem to cannot win. Because facing those demons that make you feel like you are in some kind of darkness is no easy task. So much burden you cannot share and so much pain you cannot speak about because you don’t know how to, and even when and if you can, you don’t think anyone would understand. And you then end up all alone in this constant spiritual and psychological mayhem that goes on and on.
There are no special classes giving lessons on how to deal with life. I guess you just have to figure it out on your own. But the best thing to do is to face these feelings, and the overwhelming tidal wave of emotions that would consume you are not you been weak, that is you been strong and doing the right thing.Dont turn your emotions off because it is so much easier to not feel at all, that is running away and it is cowardice. Don’t allow your demons control you, take charge, get up and fight, fight for you because if you don’t, the reflection that stares back at you when you look in the mirror, that stranger that has become you will triumph and everything you’ve ever stood for, your ideals, principles and all you’ve ever believed in will be gone probably forever and that’s when your family, friends and the world start seeing the change in you, this side not even you knew existed. If you never want to fade away, then do not give up or lose hope because HOPE IS THE ONLY THING STRONGER THAN FEAR. Hang in there a little more and it will all be okay.
Heart, I say the organ we cannot we live without, a miracle created by God. When it is okay, everything is good and the world and life seems beautiful and the future bright. When it is damaged, it slowly fades away that you become a shadow of who you are or used to be and with time everything is lost, there is nothing worse than a broken spirit and a tainted soul.
HEART, a miracle that is life itself.
HAJARAH MAMMAN NASSIR
Its hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve placed a crown on it’s head